Shop Chronicles
The Old Tools List
If you are even remotely interested in old tools, you need to know about the Old Tools List.

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* From The Old Tools List Archive, circa 2003 *
Yes, we're here to help you rationalize that next tool purchase, give you tips on haggling for flea market and garage sale bargains, and the best techniques for getting the new acquisition out of the Mobile Solar Kiln and into the basement or garage past the skeptical eyes of your Significant Other.

We're here to give you tips on Cubicle or Office Woodworking without getting caught by the Powers That Be and Wound Management techniques when those inevitable 'Uh-Ohs' strike at work or home. Plus how to get blood off of your half-completed projects or the best choice of stains and glazes to disguise the spatter patterns if it sets up before your return from the Urgent Care Center.

We're here to provide you with an unending series of Internet links to *bay auctions, new tool sources, pictures of 'whatsits', and jpegs of our recent finds. You won't actually have to spend another minute woodworking again as all of your spare moments can be spent on hunting new tools, getting them into the house, cleaning them up, sharpening them, cutting yourself with them, telling us about them and reading about the experiences of other Porch dwellers.

If you do have an overwhelming urge to actually use your tools, we're here to give you pages of contradictory advice on bench selection and construction as well as bench dogs. Yes, bench dogs, round or square? Plus endless and entertaining discussion of toolchest construction and placement.

We're here to teach you the Art of the Gloat. Soon you too will be writing long rambling accounts of your flea market and garage sale forays where you found rare and sought after tools for less than the price of fast-food combo meals. We'll teach you the art of Drive-by Gloating by sprinkling accounts of rare tool acquisition in your discourse on other topics and posting jpegs of your recent finds with other 'hot' tools innocently placed in the background, just slightly out of focus. Or posting in-your-face jpegs of toolchests stuffed with gleaming tools while ostensibly demonstrating some arcane construction technique.

We're here to fling you down that Slippery Slope and to give you additional velocity when it looks like you might be slowing down.

The Support Group From Hell. Serving countless Galoots since late 1995.

Tom Price (TomPrice@a...)
Will Work For Tools
The Galoot's Progress Old Tools site is at: